One step closer to being Dead.

Wellp, I'm 25 now... Fucking Christ, a quarter of a Century. When the Hell did that happen? I can so clearly remember being 19, hanging out in the malls with my buddy Lee, rich as all fuck and having nothing to worry about other than what Videogames to buy and whether I should have some stuffed pizza or a Boli. Now I'm 25, Married, with car payments, broke as all Hell.

Oh don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, I love Angi and all but jesus... years just flew on by. Oh well, I got another 4 before my next breakdown, when I turn... ugh... 30.

BUT! For now there's always the good aspects of a birthday... like my Birthday dinner. Angi makes me chocolate cake and stuffed shells. And they're gooooooood. Then again when you only cook one meal a year they damn well better be. And no, it doesn't suck having a birthday right next to Christmas, I didn't let my parents combine the two, and I didn't celebrate it in the spring either. Why? As I put it to them, "Hey! You could have fucking counted out 9 months before you screwed, or are you saying I'm an accident?"

Anyway I don't have much else to go on about... aside from those damn children. What the fuck? Since when do these needy charity assholes suddenly think it's okay to guilt me into giving? You've seen it, that big bearded fuck walking around that shithole village carrying a wide-eyed cuban girl or something, giving you this shit, "You probably meant to help out... after you paid those bills, maybe once you got the job... or maybe you forgot the number again... c'mon you greedy American cocksucker, help these kids out, what are you, poor or something? Sad bastard, you can't afford 90 cents a day? You make me sick..."

WHOA! Hold the fuck up there Captain Pretentious, where the Hell do you get off brow beating me when you're on TV begging for quarters? Here's the skinny... Yeah, I do feel bad for the kids, that has to suck. But it's not MY fault... WHO THE HELL TOLD THEIR PARENTS THEY COULD FUCK?! SHIT! If you live in some 4th world cesspit, digging through mud for worms to eat and drinking your piss so you don't dehydrate, your house is made out of rusty roof tiling, where the FUCK do you get off knocking someone up? Goddamn, how do you even get horny in those situations? "Hey baby, I'm not delerious from hunger any more, I found a dead squrriel to eat, wanna fuck?"

Screw you assloaf, don't come crying to me because you spewed out a crotch-fetus you were in no way shape or form prepared to handle. I know it's not the kids fault but Goddamit don't try to pass it off on me to clean up after these milky lickers, and NO, I can't afford a dollar a day, I got bills to pay off Godammit! Why don't YOU pay them off, shit do you have any idea how much it probably cost to film those commercials? The prick doesn't seem to be a local, so I'm guessing they flew him in, plus the camera crew, plus all the equipment needed, plus editing, plus crew fees, plus catering and hotel accomadations, shit we're talking upwards of $10,000 easy, at a dollar a day that's almost 30 kids you could have taken care of for the year, or maybe bought some water purifiers or vaccines and shit, but no, you'll chance pissing me off enough to help you out? I don't fucking think so.

And that brings me back to Hurricane Katrina... I loved this commercial, "When natural disaters call for an act of God-" A NATURAL DISASTER -IS- AN ACT OF GOD! Hey don't blame me, you all think some omnipotent bearded figure is controlling everything, not natural forces, earth's rotations and gravitational fields... if you're putting God in your begathon you have to entertain the possibility he felt louisiana needed some smiting. Don't yell at me, I'm just pointing out the phalacy of your statement.

Anywho that's tha- Oh! Yeah we recently found some old game where you try to find your pornstar name by taking the name of your first pet plus the name of the first street you lived on. It's been kinda funny so far.

Asa - Mario Beartrap
Angi - Tiger Portage
Michele (my boss) - Lonesome Center (hah!)
Jeremiah (he's my black friend) - Mr. Manchester (?)

I'd ask you to post your pornstar name... but that would imply someone read this crap.